Message In Silence

I'm blessed to live just a few blocks away from the church. The Adoration Chapel is open until late at night--the perfect time (at least for me)--to pray, meditate, examine one's conscience, and listen to God; It is silent; few people are inside.

I was there in the adoration chapel a while ago, and honestly I didn't want to go; I wanted to play World of Tanks and try out MechWarrior Online. But I had this feeling that I was being invited, probably partly because I opened The Way (a book with the words of St. Josemaria Escriva that helps us build and enrich our interior life) in the morning and flipped to the part about Mortification.

"That joke, that witty remark held on the tip of your tongue; the cheerful smile for those who annoy you; that silence when you're unjustly accused; your friendly conversation with people whom you find boring and tactless; the daily effort to overlook one irritating detail or another in the persons who live with you... this, with perseverance, is indeed solid interior mortification." - The Way, number 173


Mortification is--or at least how I understand it--is the act of trying to kill and destroy one's attachment from sin. And to be able to do so, one must sacrifice and carry the cross. To carry the cross, one must detach one's self from earthly pleasures and desires. Traversing it backwards, Mortification is the discipline of practicing one's detachment from earthly pleasures and desires, that enables us to carry the cross (because we're not holding anything anymore), that detaches us from sin. 


I am absolutely not so sure if I explained that properly.

So I detached myself from my desire to play online games, and went to the Adoration Chapel.

If ever there are non-Catholics reading this, the Adoration Chapel is a chapel where the Blessed Sacrament is present and exposed, for us to adore. The Blessed Sacrament is the physical Body of Christ.

Honestly, I went in unprepared, just following that invitation. I genuflected, and knelt, not knowing what to tell the Lord. I asked for His forgiveness, and prayed for some personal intentions of mine. After that, it's just silence. Well, not that silent; I could hear the low frequency "whooom" sound the air conditioner is making, and the subtle movements of the two people at my back. I'm a guy who actually enjoys room tone; I was distracted by the silence. Then I remembered Cardinal Tagle's sermon two years ago in the Mass in honor of St. Josemaria Escriva about God's language. Not verbatim but it goes something like, "Silence is God's language". Today it made sense. I think it's not the kind of silence that means "the absence of sound", rather, the silence of the mind or the absence of mental noise. When the mind is in a state of silence, it means our mind is empty and freed from mental noise. It means there is room / space for God to enter. And so I freed myself from the crazy ideas passively running at the back of my mind, and also freed myself from... worries. I am a person filled with worries, most specially now that I just turned thirty. Sometimes I can't help it. I feel like I'm doomed and destined to fail. Worries.. heh... worry's definitely a form of noise; It distracts us from hearing God. 

Today, God told me to trust Him and persevere the sufferings. I left the adoration chapel with my mind filled with God's assurance that everything's going to be fine. There is peace in obedience. 

Happy Vacation then BOOM

Laborare Est Orare (to work is to pray), detail of a nineteenth century painting by John Rogers Herbert, 

showing Benedictine monks at work.   

How easy it is to do our daily tasks when everything is going perfect. Imagine having a really perfect weekend. You just spent your time with your family and loved ones, maybe watched a movie or went to a swimming party. Suddenly, Monday arrives and an unexpected load of work comes with really tight deadlines. Don’t you just wanna go back in time when everything was chill?

I’m not a master of handling SNAFU (Situation Normal All FreakGD%^ed Up) situations. There are times when I just wanna go YOLO; like Imma pick up my things, run away, and drink beer at my happy place. But there has to be a way to handle the situation properly, without losing one’s cool. There has to be a way to control all the complaints and stress in life, and turn it into something good.

A few days ago, I was with my love and her former teacher in [beep]. Ms. [beep] was telling us that a lot of students nowadays (compared to older batches) do not follow simple rules anymore, like wearing proper uniform. And another problem is that the admin is no longer as strict as it used to be in enforcing school policies, as if discipline is not that important anymore. Back when I was still studying in school (x number of hours years ago.), I couldn't see the value of wearing a uniform, making hair look neat, wearing proper shoes, etc. But now that I’m working as a full time audio guy, I realized that hey, it was all because when you graduate, the world becomes bigger and tougher. If you can’t even handle simple campus rules, how much more in the real world when the rules are more... “unfair”.

So what now? SNAFU days will keep on coming. It will never end. YOU ARE ALL ALONE; NO ONE WILL BE THERE TO HELP YOU. ACCEPT YOUR DOOM! Just kidding! Of course there’s something we can do about it. In my previous blog, like a few months ago, I mentioned this thing called, “sanctifying one’s work”. It’s being made holy through one’s work. I’m not sure if I did mention how, and I’m not going to read it again because it’s too long... lol. But anyway, here’s a line from the Bible that would help us understand better how (and actually why) one could/should sanctify one’s work.

"If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" (Mt 16:24)

In other words, to follow Christ is not an easy task; sacrifices are required. We should deny our desires for comfort, and carry the weight of the cross. This is called Mortification, and it applies to work. If we cannot follow simple rules and complain at just about everything, this will be an even more difficult thing to do. It also CANNOT happen if there is NO VOLUNTARY EFFORT to let go of the things/habits/desires that are keeping us away from Christ.

When we practice the spirit of mortification, we experience joy in suffering. We suffer because it’s not easy and we experience pain, but we are joyful because this is the way to be holy: following Christ. The exact opposite of this is going YOLO the wrong way and just running away from the problem. When we are running away from our daily tasks or when we’re not doing our tasks well--be it light or heavy--we are not fighting the good fight; we are actually throwing our cross away. So man up!

Sometimes, the cross may seem like it weighs more than we could handle. We can always pray, but not for God to take away our cross nor to make our cross lighter, but we should pray and ask God to make us stronger. When we become stronger, the cross will again become heavier, and it becomes a continuous cycle. When we feel our cross getting heavier, this should give us joy because hey, maybe God just wants to accelerate our spiritual growth. Maybe He wants us to be holy ASAP! And most importantly, we should always remember that we are not the only ones carrying the cross. Christ is always present and He is carrying the cross with us. And if we unite our sufferings to His, they will not be in vain. They will surely bear good fruit, which God will reveal to us if not in this lifetime, then in the hereafter.

"Let us work. Let us work a lot and work well, without forgetting that prayer is our best weapon. That is why I will never tire of repeating that we have to be contemplative souls in the midst of the world, who try to convert their work into prayer."
(Furrow, 497)

A Catholic Sound Engineer’s Work

By: Juan Carlo Vitasa

Okay, I’m not really worthy of the title Sound Engineer, because I didn’t graduate with any audio-related degree. Well, most of us here in the Audio Post Production Industry are graduates of some other course not related to sound, and some didn’t graduate at all. So I prefer being called something else like a Sound Stylist, an Audio Surgeon, a Sound Chef, or simply...an Audio Guy.

The work of an audio guy in an audio post production house in a nutshell, is basically creating the sound that would deliver the message of advertisements, such as (but is not limited to), a radio ad, TV ad, a viral etc.—RIGHT. My boss, Mr. Raul Blay calls our work, storytelling. We do tons of recording, sound designing, mixing, editing and foley-ing. We get to work with different kinds of people, like celebrities, politicians, talents, models, producers, and rising stars. Sounds fun right? Well, not all the time.

Just like any other kind of work, there are also not so fun parts attached to it. Audio guys are like doctors; if someone needs you, you have to be there no matter what time it is. If they need you to work from 8am to 4am, you have to be there 8am to 4am. If they need you during holidays, you have to be there. If they need you on a Sunday, you have to be there. So yeah, we are like doctors, minus the saving lives part.

Before I signed the work contract they warned me that schedules get bad. And I told myself, “Okay, It can’t be that bad”. I was too complacent in a YOLO-ish way. I didn’t know that the work of an audio guy in the advertising industry would be heartbreaking. It will break your heart a thousand times a year... a THOUSAND TIMES A YEAR. Imagine this: You’ve scheduled a dinner date with your love, and you’re soooo excited. You’re about to leave work, and your date is on her way. And then duty calls saying, “You have a 7pm to 12am schedule with a producer.” BOOM! Like a thief in the night, baby. That shizzle happens A LOT. I kid you not; there was a time when I got traumatized. Every time I heard a phone ringing, I got scared. Our boss keeps on reminding us that we should have passion for work, and I agree. But when you mix being burned-out by work, with, aaaaaaaaall the heartbreaking moments, your weighing scale starts to get “intelligent” and asks all kinds of questions like, is it worth it? Emotions will consume all reason... And that leads to what I would like to call an Emotional Gluttony or a Dangerous Emo.

I’ve been doing this job for five years now. I almost didn’t make it; I thought of quitting before. So how in the world was I able to endure such heartbreaking times? Survival? If you see work as a means for mere survival, you will not last. You know there’s something wrong if you complain at almost everything that’s work related: Why is the script like this? Why is the talent like that? Why are we working so late? And a whole lot more of negativity.

 St. Josemaria Escriva said, “Sanctifying one’s work is no fantastic dream, but the mission of every Christian — yours and mine.” What does that mean? Work was eating up all of my time. What does sanctifying one’s work mean and how does it become my mission? I think St. Joseph—if not the favourite—was one of St. Josemaria’s favourite saints because he always talked about work. To understand how one can be made holy (sanctified) through one’s work, let’s look at what St. Joseph did. As we all know, he was a carpenter. But he wasn’t just a carpenter, PERIOD. He was a carpenter who accepted God’s task, to be the father of His Son. By working hard, he was able to feed, protect, and fulfil one’s duty as a father. Can you imagine St. Joseph complaining about his work saying “Oh this is too much, imma ditch this task and go on a long vacation”. But no, he carried his cross; an extremely heavy cross that involves being hunted down and having one’s son threatened to be killed by a corrupt king. The exemplary duty as a father that St. Joseph had fulfilled was not done in the name of survival; but ultimately because of his love for God.

If you do your work and offer it up to God, you will feel aligned. That’s how I have somehow managed for the last five years. One must not separate work from God. Instead, one must be a work of God. The image of God must be seen in us, and we must never forget our divine filiation (being children of God; God being our father). When we are aware of this divine filiation, we become conscious of what we do at work. Are we being God’s work if we complain a lot about work instead of doing well at it?

Work as a means of sanctification makes sense and bears beautiful and sweet fruits. If you do it out of love— because you want to earn to help out in your family, buy something for a loved one, or to help the poor, etc—you think more of the people around you, and less of yourself. It is very different from working so you can buy yourself the latest cellphone or a new gaming console. Not that it’s wrong to buy these things, but what I’m saying is that, it’s sweeter to be an instrument of charity. If you help others, you create a better environment that affects everyone. It makes sense because one’s motivation affects productivity; it’s like fuel. Whatever fuel you use affects the car’s performance. If you use the right fuel, you will perform better. As a minor plus, practicality wise—at least in my case—if you perform better, you get more work. And more work means more pay. But more importantly, perform better and you glorify God with your work. Incidentally, we also honor our parents whose name we are carrying. It’s so beautiful, honoring one’s father and mother. Jesus himself honored Mary and Joseph. Jesus never complained about being a son of a carpenter. He carried the badge of his father and became a carpenter himself!

I have much to learn about being a good Christian. The truth is that I’m struggling much to be holy just as our Father is holy. I surely have a long way to go. I am not immune to any hardships and challenges at work, but I continue to pray for the kind of work that will allow me “to spend the appropriate amount of time on each of my duties: spiritual life, family life, professional life and social relations, in a balanced way,” as the Novena for Work to St. Josemaria goes.  There is no perfect job, but I know that whatever job God gives me, can perfect my soul if done for His glory. And while waiting for His answer to my prayers, I hang on to these words of St. Josemaria, “Persevere in the exact fulfillment of the obligations of the moment. That work — humble, monotonous, small – is prayer expressed in action that prepares you to receive the grace of the other work – great and wide and deep — of which you dream.” (The Way, 825)